A Perspective Shift

A day wrapped in flowers, brunch reservations, candle sales, pastel marketing campaigns, and enough emotional guilt to power a small city.

And honestly? I have thoughts.

See, I am both a mother and a daughter. Growing up, my mother taught me many things — unfortunately, most of them were lessons in what not to do and how not to be. Other than giving birth to me and not killing me, there really wasn’t much for me to celebrate, so I didn’t. That may sound harsh to some people, but truth rarely arrives wearing a soft sweater and carrying a casserole.

Then I became a mother myself, and somewhere along the way, I realized something important: I do not need a calendar to validate what motherhood means.

I became a mother the moment my son made me one. Not because society circled a Sunday in May and decided, “Yep. This is the day we pretend to notice moms.” Motherhood lives in the ordinary moments. The sleepless nights. The worrying. The showing up. The sacrifices nobody sees. The constant emotional math running in the background while simultaneously trying to remember why you walked into the kitchen in the first place.

It is not a one-day performance.

And let’s be honest here — Mother’s Day has become painfully commercialized. One day a year where countless people rush to buy flowers, cards, chocolates, and overpriced brunches while posting heartfelt captions about how much they “honor women.”

That’s lovely.

Now imagine carrying that energy into the other 364 days.

Because this is where the whole thing starts feeling wildly performative.

Women are still paid less than men in many industries. Women are still expected to carry impossible emotional, physical, and societal standards while somehow making it all look effortless. Women still fight for autonomy over their own bodies, their safety, their voices, their credibility, and sometimes even their basic humanity.

But sure… tell me more about the scented candle and the mimosa special.

And before someone clutches their pearls and screams, “Not all men!” — breathe, Brad. If it does not apply to you, the statement is not about you. Put the keyboard down and hydrate.

The deeper issue is not flowers. Flowers are fine. Buy the flowers. Support local florists. Everybody wins.

The issue is symbolic appreciation replacing actual respect.

How can someone claim they deeply honor their mother while simultaneously treating women as less intelligent, less capable, less worthy, less equal, or less human the rest of the year? How can society praise mothers as “the backbone of civilization” while undervaluing caregiving, emotional labor, education, healthcare, and the very roles women disproportionately carry?

The math is not mathing.

And maybe part of the problem is this: many people were never taught how to separate love from accountability. They believe honoring their mother means never acknowledging harm. They confuse biology with nurturing. They confuse obedience with respect. They romanticize motherhood while ignoring the very real humans behind the title.

Because giving birth may biologically make someone a mother, but love, safety, consistency, accountability, protection, and emotional presence are what make someone feel mothered.

Those are not automatically the same thing.

For many people, Mother’s Day is beautiful. For others, it is grief. Or anger. Or emptiness. Or confusion. Or a painful reminder of what never existed. And all of those experiences are valid, even if they do not fit neatly onto a greeting card display at Target.

But underneath all of this is an even bigger question:

Why are humans still so uncomfortable with equality?

We have evolved technologically in extraordinary ways, yet somehow still struggle with basic human dignity. We can send people into space but still debate whether all humans deserve equal rights and bodily autonomy. That should concern us far more than whether someone forgot to buy a bouquet.

At the same time, I refuse to believe humanity is hopeless.

But hopeless? No.

Humanity has shifted before. Systems once considered “normal” are now viewed as horrifying. Growth rarely happens in a straight line. It stumbles. It regresses. It tantrums. It overcorrects. It drags itself forward kicking and screaming like a caffeinated raccoon with unresolved childhood trauma.

Still… it moves.

And maybe that is the real invitation here.

But consistency.

Every day.

Because motherhood is not built in a single Sunday.

And neither is humanity.