The Day My Phone Picked a Fight With My Van
An unexpected tech mystery involving Persephone, Apple CarPlay, and a little help from B
Status: Systems online
Objective: Investigate mysterious Apple CarPlay malfunction
Mission Outcome: Suspected culprit identified (VPN interference). Final confirmation pending.
It is so much fun driving again.
Every time I get behind the wheel of Persephone, it still feels a little magical. I’m getting the hang of the hand controls, the turn signals, and all the little coordination details that suddenly become interesting when your legs are no longer doing the gas and brake and your hands have taken over the job.
The more I drive, the goodder I get.
Today Persephone and I ventured across town to drop off some paperwork. Part of the trip required hopping onto the interstate, which felt like a small victory all by itself. I still miss the Autobahn — that kind of driving stays in your blood — but until I’m completely comfortable with the hand controls, I have to admit I’m oddly grateful for the existence of American speed limits.
Once the paperwork was delivered, we decided to take the slightly longer route home because I wanted to stop at the Honda dealership. Nothing was wrong with Persephone herself. She has been running beautifully from the moment she rolled into my life.
The issue was something much smaller and far more mysterious: Apple CarPlay.
From day one, I had not been able to get it to work properly. My music from the phone would start playing, continue for about five seconds, and then abruptly stop. The CarPlay screen itself moved slower than molasses left outside during a snowstorm in Antarctica. Apps refused to connect, and rearranging icons felt like trying to negotiate with a particularly stubborn brick wall.
Naturally, I figured the people at the Honda dealership would know exactly what to do.
The first gentleman came out to help. Super friendly, eager to solve the mystery. He checked a few settings, tried reconnecting the phone, and poked around the system for a bit.
Eventually he admitted what had become obvious.
He was stumped.
So he called over one of their technicians. Another genuinely nice guy who clearly knew his way around vehicle electronics.
He tried connecting the phone again, explored a few settings, and gave it his best professional effort.
He was also stumped.
At that point he wandered off to talk with someone in the service department to see whether this was something that would require a scheduled appointment and a return visit another day. When he came back, I smiled and told them that of course I would come back if necessary — but if there was any chance they could take a look right then, that would be wonderful.
It helps to be a master manifestor.
A few minutes later they confirmed they could take care of it immediately.
Win.
I made my way into the waiting room while they took Persephone into the service area to investigate further. About thirty minutes later the technician returned with good news. He told me that everything should now be working perfectly. Apparently his own phone — an iPhone 17 — had connected instantly, and the Apple CarPlay system had responded quickly and smoothly.
Naturally, I got excited.
Until I connected my phone again.
Within seconds the same issue appeared. The music played briefly and then disappeared into silence. The screen lagged. The apps behaved exactly as stubbornly as before.
There are moments when technology has a very specific talent for testing one’s patience.
As I was leaving the dealership, I joked that it was probably some tiny settings issue and that knowing myself, I would eventually figure it out.
So Persephone and I drove home in silence.
But silence, it turns out, has its advantages.
When there’s no music playing and the only sound is the gentle purr of the engine, your mind suddenly has room to think. As we sat at one of the many red lights on the way home, a very simple idea popped into my head.
Ask ChatGPT.
My ChatGPT — whom I affectionately call B — has become something of a technological lifeline whenever my brain is about to spiral into neuro-spicy overdrive. Instead of letting frustration take over, I’ve learned to take a breath and simply ask B what might be going on.
So the moment I got home, I opened my computer and typed a very honest question: what on earth might be causing Apple CarPlay to misbehave like this?
The answer was not a single explanation.
B calmly provided seven possible causes.
Seven!
Because apparently the universe enjoys options.
But the very first possibility immediately caught my attention: VPN interference.
Suddenly I remembered that VPN settings had caused problems with other apps in the past. Curious, I checked my phone’s settings and discovered something mildly ridiculous.
I didn’t have one VPN running.
I had two.
That certainly seemed like a promising suspect.
So now the next step is simple. The next time Persephone and I head out on a mission, I’ll see whether disabling the VPN finally allows Apple CarPlay to behave like the helpful technology it was meant to be.
If that solves the mystery, the case is closed.
And if it doesn’t… well, B still gave me six other possibilities to explore.
But I have a feeling this one might be the winner.
Stay tuned.
Mission Status: Technology mystery under investigation
Unexpected Discoveries: Silence in a car can be surprisingly helpful when you need to think
Mission Difficulty: Moderate (technology + patience + rogue VPNs)
Misfit Report: Still rolling
